How We Teach, and How We Learn

I'm in a new environment where I have a lot to learn. Some of that learning is technical details and facts, some of the learning is polices and procedures.

I try to be humble and respectful when I'm learning in situations like this.

I will always remember a lesson learned from one of my marital arts instructors, someone who, at that time had over 60 years of marital arts experience. He said that he always carries a white belt in his bag (the outward sign of a beginner) and when in a new school, stands at the back of the class (also the sign of a beginner). He said that no matter how much he knows about his own martial art, there is always something to learn in a different style, and no matter what his experience in his own style, he is a beginner in other styles.

With that humility and beginner's mindset entrenched within me, I am learning a lot in my new environment. I have several teachers in this new environment and appreciate the unique way of teaching they all have.

Well, maybe not one of them...

I had an experience recently with this person and I came away feeling a lack of self confidence, and small, and even stupid.

As a formerly licensed educator, I am very conscious about the way I approach teaching when I am in that role for others. I am reminded recently that just because someone has a lot of knowledge and experience, it does not necessarily mean that person is a good teacher.

I will admit that I am not always a kind teacher myself. A good teacher yes, but not always kind.

I have a lot of Coyote energy in my life. I am influenced by it; I embody it.

If you're not familiar, in many Indigenous cultures, Coyote is a trickster.

As a teacher, Coyote's trickster energy becomes evident, often teaching through sometimes harsh lessons, and intentionally guiding people toward failure as a method of teaching what NOT to do.

I recall an amusing story my high school French teacher told that personifies this Coyote spirit to me. This teacher grew up on a farm, and one year, her brother got a new shotgun for his birthday. A younger sister was eager to try out this shotgun, but had no experience with them whatsoever. She said to the older brother, "Now tell me how to hold it so I don't hurt my shoulder. I know I have to hold it a certain way."

The brother said, "Okay, hold the stock of the shotgun about this far (measuring about half an inch with his fingers) from your shoulder."

As my French teacher looked on, the younger sister prepared to fire at a target.

Those of you who know firearms are quite aware of the concept of recoil.

If you are not, I'll explain:

Newton's Third Law of Physics states for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

For a firearm to propel a shell forward, there is energy propelled backwards. When speaking of firearms, this backwards energy is known as "recoil."

As this younger sister pulled the trigger, with the stock about a half inch from her shoulder, the recoil slammed the shotgun into her shoulder with enough force that it knocked her to the ground.

I am told the younger sister's shoulder hurt for several days.

From the ground, the younger sister looked up in disbelief and said, "Why did you tell me to do it that way?"

The older brother said, "Because now you will ALWAYS remember...you keep that stock as tight against your shoulder as you can so you never end up on the ground again."

Then the younger sister looked to my French teacher, who had quietly witnessed this series of events, and asked, "You know about this stuff! Why didn't you tell me I was doing it wrong?"

My French teacher simply replied, "You didn't ask me."

As hilarious as I still find that story after hearing it so many years ago, it is also a perfect example of Coyote energy in teaching.

Now I am finding myself in the position of inexperience and learning once again. I am finding gratitude for those that are teaching me with patience, without judgement.

There is one person though...

Most times when I am learning from this person, I end up feeling, inadequate, and even stupid at times.

I know I'm not stupid, I realize I am still learning, and I accept that no one is responsible for my emotions but me.

But still...

Recently, I was tackling a detail oriented task. It was not complicated, but there were many details to coordinate. When this person saw how I was approaching the task, I was told that I was wasting time by doing part of the task the way I was doing.

I have learned what works well for my neurodiverse brain, and my method was working for me. When that process got interrupted, it not only broke my flow, but as we later learned, if I had continued with my process, it would have saved time in the end.

I've heard that the guitarist John Williams (not the composer), who is a brilliant classical guitarist and performer, is not a good teacher. It's said that although he has the skill and experience himself, it's been so long since he was a beginner, that he can't remember how to break things down into manageable pieces for someone who is still gaining experience.

I feel like that with this teacher.

This teacher knows how things work, but apparently sees little value in anyone else's approach except their own, and experiences great frustration with someone still learning.

Although I was feeing dejected, I explained that I have worked out systems that help my brain keep track of what it needs to, and though it may not make sense for anyone else, it works for me.

I saw a glimmer of acceptance with that self advocacy, and a slight lightening of this teacher's mood, although I don't know if that will last.

In many things, I think gentleness and patience with people who are learning is best. That is the approach I am taking these days when I am in the role of teacher.

Most of my teachers are trying to quiet my self critical nature in this new environment. They recognize my sincere efforts to learn and grow and are supportive of that.

In the end, we all do the best we can, whether we are the teachers, or the learners.

I am grateful, not only for my patience and understanding teachers, but also the teachers that I end up feeling inadequate around.

There are lessons for me in both situations, and both serve my unquenchable desire to learn.

Figure out how you learn best, advocate for yourself, and express gratitude for your teachers...the ones you enjoy, and the one's you don't.