3 reasons I don't believe in bulleted lists

I'm new to the blogging world. I've only been at it for a few months now. The number of views I get goes up and down depending on what I post. I don't repost links to my posts...some people do, and that's fine for them, but I figure that the people who are supposed to read my stuff will find it one way or another. But I digress.

So here are the three reasons I don't believe in bulleted lists:

• I'm a bit of a non-conformist. I've read "how to" blogs about improving your blog. One of the tips a lot of people mention is blogging with bulleted lists. I'm guessing the idea is that in our fast paced technological life, people want bite sized pieces of information spoon fed to them. I've long been the exception to the rules, and I believe that by blogging without the nice and tidy lists, I'm holding true to my non-conformist nature. Note: I have a lot of online friends that blog from time to time with bulleted lists and their blogs have huge readerships and are very popular...I'm not thumbing my nose at my comrades of the keyboard...I'm gettin' all Sinatra on it and doing it MY way...no disrespect intended.
• You need to slow down! By making my readers work a bit more to extrapolate the truth I'm sharing, I encourage people to take a small break from the break-neck pace of their lives. Mine all the little nuggets of wisdom and sometimes insanity that I throw your way. You may not be quoting a laundry list to your friends, but maybe you'll have a chance to meditate on my words and interrupt the maddening rate at which your life flies by.
• I intend to be required reading. No, this isn't some fanciful thought and it isn't a hyp0manic episode (thanks to the meds). This is me visioning, thinking outside of the box and doing it in a big way! What if, just what if MY random musing became required reading for music therapists in the future? Do you think Sun Tzu ever imagined his efforts in writing "The Art of War" would someday be required reading for every student at a military academy half a world away, thousands of years after he wrote it? I'm hedging my bets that the philosophical writers like myself are more likely to get on a required reading list than list writers (again, no disrespect my brothers and sisters).
• I write for myself. Yes, the title of the post says "3 reasons" and I'm giving you 4...told you I was a non-conformist! Anyhow, I don't write this blog to be popular. I write so that others might benefit from my ideas, but mostly, I write for myself. To express all these ideas I have and take a thing or two off my overloaded mind.

Music Therapy...no joke!

Memorial Day brought a barbeque with some friends. Actually we only knew the couple that invited us, and met a whole bunch of new people. During the course of the conversation, someone asked me about the G Mountain Ocarina I typically wear around my neck. A lot of people can't guess what it is and it prompts them to inquire about it.

By this time the person knew I am a music therapist. When I explained that I was wearing an ocarina, and further explained that an ocarina is a vessel flute, the person responded with, "Oh, is that in case someone needs some emergency music therapy?"

I laughed off the comment and said, "Of course" or something like that. But that got me to thinking...

Sometimes people really do think music therapy is a joke.

I can't say that I've ever heard someone joke about emergency physical therapy, occupational therapy or speech therapy...so why joke about music therapy?

I am blessed to work in a facility where most of my co-workers have seen the power music therapy can have. There was one time when the rather dramatic comment "We need music therapy in there...STAT!" was made. I genuinely laughed about that one.

But it seems like there is part of the population out there that is going to make light of things they don't understand no matter what. Maybe they think it's fluffy new age stuff (not that I have anything against new age...)

Maybe they think, like my cooperating teacher for my undergrad student teaching, that music therapy is just playing records for old people in nursing homes...you really need a degree for that?

Maybe they don't understand the education and training we have...I just had a patient say to me yesterday, "So you're a music therapist? Do you have a degree?"

I don't mean to get all serious and heavy duty here, but sometimes it hurts when it seems like people are making light of the beautiful and wonderful thing that is music therapy.

So what am I going to do when the jokes roll in? I'll smile, maybe even laugh (because if we can't laugh at ourselves, we might as well hang it up!) and I'll gently and persistently educate...because to quote from Steve Vai:

I am fearless in my heart

They will always see that in my eyes

I am the Passion; I am the Warfare

I will never stop

Always constant, accurate and intense

Self-medicating with music

Typically when we hear the term "self-medicating" we hear it in relation to food, or shopping or illicit drugs, alcohol...the list goes on and on. My oldest daughter taught me something today about self-medicating with music.

The typical scenario in our house on school days finds me choosing some sort of upbeat music to gently wake my children up with. I leave this playing in their bedroom until it's time to head out the door.

This morning was challenging. For whatever reason (perhaps for the simple fact it's Monday), my oldest was having a meltdown. She was upset I forgot to wash the clothes she wanted to wear, she was refusing to take her meds, refusing to get ready for school, refusing to listen...

After persuading her to take her meds, she was even more upset and stalked off into her bedroom. I was exasperated, but tried to continue my morning routine. I soon noticed that the music I had left playing had changed. I heard a cover version of Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds."

The significance of this is not apparent for most of you, I'm sure, until you know that my daughter has been listening to this song over and over again lately. She often sings along with it as she listens over and over and over.

Part of the hook says, " 'Cause every little thing's gonna be alright."

It hit me...she was using the song to soothe herself.

My beautiful, intelligent, spirited daughter was self-medicating with music...and I couldn't have been prouder.

Beouf bourguignon and the drive to excel

A couple of nights ago I was watching "Julie and Julia" with my beloved. For the record, I was the one ecstatic to find it at Redbox and was the one that suggested we watch it...I'd seen it before; she hadn't. Realizing some of the details in the life of Julia Child were dramatized, the movie still inspired some deep reflection for me. Julia figured out what she loved to do in life, and then went after it. She didn't set out (I don't believe) to change the world, but she did. She kept after her passion and eventually became iconic and legendary. Did she wake up one day and say to herself "I'm going to set out to change the world?" Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. However things worked out, she did what she was drawn to do, and she stuck with it.

The geeky side of me must pull out a Star Trek quote here: Zephrem Cochran said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgements."

This may be part of my quandary...I'm trying to be a great man.

I realized a few years ago, that I was destined for greatness.

It sounds narcissistic, I know, but this realization washed over me. I was meant to be a great teacher/leader/transformer/guide...I have important things to do!

Then I think, "Really? What makes you so special?? Who do you think you are?" I used to have a button pinned to my denim jacket "I'm a legend in my own mind." So there is a constant battle between the voices in my head..."you're special, and even though everyone is special, you're REALLY special!" (sounds a little bit like 'Animal Farm', doesn't it?) and "you must remain humble no matter what happens, because people who are truly great show great humility and underplay their accomplishments."

Of course another voice slips in there, "Who are you kidding? Look at what all these other single parents/music therapist/martial artists do...do you really think you can ever measure up?"

So then I started thinking about where my passion is...what is my version of Juila Child and her revolutionary cookbook?

Let's see...I'm a single parent trying to be the best dad I can, teach my children all the positive things martial arts can offer and get them involved in music in a structured way, I'm close to testing for master rank in tae kwon do, I'm a Reiki master preparing to co-teach a group of co-workers, I'm a classical guitarist who lacks confidence in technical skills, I enjoy learning ukulele, ocarina, didgeridoo, penny whistle, riq, konnakol, solkattu...I'd love to learn doumbek and play traditional belly dancing rhythms for my beloveds to dance to, I have ideas to contribute to the fields of music therapy, neurologic music therapy, education...when I finish my masters (which I have been putting off for a long time) I might apply for a doc program at the local university and tailor it to my interests, or the PhD program in music therapy at Temple, or get a masters in neurologic music therapy at Colorado State or...

I recently connected with someone on Facebook with an interest in drumming. After accepting my friend request, she sent a message and pointed out other interests we share. We exchanged a few messages, and then I decided to check out some of her work. Turns out she has a website and some albums and some videos on YouTube. Look her up...her name is Pamela Lynn.

The thing that impressed me most was a statement on her website. She says that she has committed herself to getting up at 3AM every day and working on her drumming skills for three hours. THAT is commitment! She re-evaluates this commitment on a yearly basis and re-dedicates herself to it year after year.

One of the videos I found on YouTube was an interview Pamela gave over the web. She was talking about her music and the subject of her voice came up. She said something to the effect, "I may not have the strongest voice, but I have something to contribute."

A lightbulb moment for me. Pamela Lynn has something to contribute. EVERYONE has something to contribute, including me.

But the question remains: Where is my passion? How do I decide??

I am a big believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. A guided meditation by Gael Chiarella says "you are being guided. Remember you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing."

Powerful words.

So is it simply attention deficit? Or am I supposed to be cultivating all of these interests in different instruments and types of music? Is this part of what it means to be a warrior musician? Develop many skills in many areas to be as versatile as possible. Prepare myself to battle as many physical challenges and emotional traumas as I can?

I don't know what my beouf bourguignon is going to be, but it doesn't matter. I don't have to decide what my great contribution will be. I don't even get to decide the level of greatness or whether I will ever be considered great at anything at all. Like Zephrem says...let history be the judge.

For now, I think my passion is found in helping and teaching people. The methods I choose to do this are not as important as remembering the passion itself. So the drive and commitment I learned from Pamela Lynn, the trust in the process I learned from Gael Chiarella and non-concern for results I learned from Zephrem Cochran leave me with my passion, in the many forms it may take. Do what you do, do it the best way you know how, and do it with every bit of your heart and soul. The details will work themselves out.

Have you lost sight of your passion? Are you going through the motions to get by? What is one thing you can do today to reaffirm your passion? Let me know where you're at and where you're going!

Allied Team Training for Parkinson's-Day 2...I'm NOT the Kum Bah Ya guy!

What an amazing and inspirational day! Connie Tomaino, the music therapist that's worked with Dr. Oliver Sacks for 30 years, is a phenomenal resource! This woman helped develop the study of the neurological effects of music and she gladly shares her wealth of experience. I felt so energized and excited to begin working with Parkinson's patients! There are SO many ways music therapy and neurologic music therapy can help!

She wowed the training group as she explained the vital role music therapists play in the treatment of Parkinson's. The unfortunate thing is that there are only two music therapists at this training. This team training is a wonderful experience and I wish more people could benefit from the training itself and specifically Connie's expertise.

I'm meeting people from all over the country and across disciplines and taking the opportunity to educate them about music therapy. But you know, Connie made an excellent point today: the number of music therapists in this country has plateaued. When I started in the profession 8 years ago, there were approximately 5000 music therapists. Today, there are approximately 5000 music therapists. Connie mentioned that number has remained steady for years. She wonders if it has something to do with the struggle and lack of reimbursement. I think that's a very plausible reason, unfortunately. She commented to me that we should have 100,000 MTs in this country.

Being a music therapist is somewhat like being a Jedi.

In Episode 1, Qui Gon tells Anakin that being a Jedi is a hard life. We know that being a Jedi means a life of service. That's typical of music therapists as well.

Music therapists are not in it for the money...my MT prof in college said, "Music therapists are the happiest poor people in the world, because we love what we do, but we're not well paid for it."

Music therapists, like Jedi, must have some natural talent for what they do and be willing to constantly hone their existing skills while developing new ones. I tell people that being a music therapist takes a very unique set of skills. Pete Meyer, who led the guitar skills workshop I attended a few weeks ago, said that music therapists are always the best musicians.

We might not always be the best performers, but we're the best musicians.

That's just part of the equation though.

I know some wonderful musicians, most of them music teachers, who would not cut it as a music therapist. They certainly have the music skills, but they don't have the rest of the puzzle. One of my friends is a great musician and is completely uncomfortable with people expressing raw emotion. Sorry buddy! No MT career in your future!

It's not about just having music and rhythm skills, but about people skills and being emotionally intelligent enough to help people process their emotions while protecting and processing your own. It's about using music skillfully to achieve goals that have nothing to do with music.

The life of a music therapist, like the life of a Jedi, is often not an easy one. So many times we have to fight to get ourselves a job, then after we get it, we have to fight to keep it.  Many states right now have MT task forces working at the state level to get music therapy recognized by the government. We continually battle to get our services reimbursed, recognized and valued by "official" entities. It's hard enough to stay afloat, let alone develop our skills to ever higher levels and work to advance the practice of our discipline. It's a hard life to be sure...but if I had to guess, I'd say 99.5% of us are lifers.

It's a hard life and yet one that inspires passion in each of us that do this vital work. The intrinsic rewards are beyond measure...

and we love it.

We were asked to tell other disciplines what we wish doctors knew about our profession...my first answer was "I'm not the Kum Bah Ya guy!"

Most people, even in my own hospital, think I'm there primarily to help people feel better. The psycho-social applications of music therapy are the most understood, most appreciated and yet is just a small fraction of what I can offer.

Take the part of our Parkinson's team here at ATTP: With our social worker I can help patients and families give voice to emotions that may be held back, voice to frustrations that otherwise might not be expressed. With our occupational therapist I can provide Patterned Sensory Enhancement to support range of motion exercises. With our speech therapist I can assist in teaching patients to project their voices. With our physical therapist I can facilitate Rhythmic Auditory Stimulation to improve how patients walk.

I have so much to offer our patients and my team! Maybe I should say "I'm more than just the Kum Bah Ya guy."

I learn more about my team every day and they learn more about me. I think we will become a wonderful resource for information and treatment of Parkinson's disease. What an amazing opportunity to be here at the beginning!

I should also note that I had dinner with the Speech faculty member and the Coordinator of the training. What an awesome exchange of ideas and information! Plus, it sounds like I'll get a quick lesson to improve the resonance of my voice tomorrow!

As I am so fond of saying to another OT friend of mine, "It's not easy being us, but it's oh, so good!"

A final note...an amazing quote came from a panel member today who's had Parkinson's for 30 years. He was speaking of the uncontrollable movements that he deals with on a daily basis. In regards to the shaking he said, "Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, but it's all me."

Allied Team Training for Parkinson's-Day 1

Here I am for my first trip to North Carolina. Chapel Hill is beautiful! I haven't seen much of it, but it definitely has a good vibe! I'm here with part of our newly formed Parkinson's Rehab team. We have an occupational therapist, physical therapist, speech language pathologist, social worker and me representing music therapy/neurologic music therapy.

There is only one other music therapist here, so our training with Connie Tomaino tomorrow will be VERY individualized! Woo hoo! It is a true rarity to be able to learn from such an innovator in a field, and in such an intimate setting!

I actually met her before dinner tonight...only long enough to introduce myself, shake hands and hear her say, "I was glad to hear there was going to be another music therapist here."

I'll take it!

I've been making notes to myself all day about how our team can be effective in delivering services and communicating information to other healthcare professionals and the general public. Inspiration that will lead to an amazing resource of information and care for patients with Parkinson's and their families. I have the best job ever!

Had a great dinner conversation in the hotel bar with my team and a PT from Montana. After our new friend from Montana excused himself to watch his alma mater's game on TV, we discussed as a team what our educational backgrounds are and how we came to be in our respective disciplines. It was a good bonding experience and helped lay the foundations for our team to develop trust in working as a group.

My beloveds often talk about my amazing networking skills...today I met a nurse from Ontario, got a lot of appreciation from the desk clerk for understanding her inability to answer questions about a shuttle service the National Parkinson's Foundation arranged for the hotel and chatted a bit with our Iranian born bartender who appreciated my live and let live attitude toward people that don't look just like me. One of the best part of my passion (some call it a job) is that I connect with people everyday. Humanizing our interactions with people is something most of us could benefit from.

As a species, we spend far too much dehumanizing others instead of humanizing them. We develop the classic "us" vs. "them" mentality. The "us" is always the more proper or correct way of thinking or doing and the "them" side is heinous and unthinkable in their actions.

What we fail to acknowledge is that there is no "us" and "them"...there's only "us."

We are building a global culture where finally it seems that the differences we have become our greatest strength...like the old Star Trek adage: infinite diversity in infinite combinations.

There is the potential for conflict between the American and Iranian governments currently. If I took the "us" vs. "them" stance, I would make some cultural slur about how all those Middle Easterners are the same...they just want to kill Americans and they should be grateful because we buy their oil...

Instead, I learned that Rasool came to American in 1982 and has lived different places in the country, which affected his accent when speaking English although he's never picked up a bit of a Southern accent. I have no issue with Rasool because he used to live in Iran. I have no issue because I choose to humanize people instead of dehumanizing them. To me, he's not a "towel head", he's a person. A person with hopes and dreams and fears and frustrations. He's also good at schmoozing with the bar patrons!

I think I will remember Rasool for a long time. The look of joy and acceptance he had on his face when we were talking had an impact on me. He seemed glad that someone understood that he was a person even though he and I had cultural and ethnic differences. We all want to be happy. We all want to be accepted.

My team was idly curious about where he was from originally because of his accent, so I asked. That simple question may have brought just a sliver more peace and acceptance into the world tonight.

So humanize your interactions with people you meet every day! Comment on their beautiful children. Express your appreciation for the outfit someone is wearing or the way they style their hair. Even brief conversations can affect how those people (and you) interact with others that day. Pay it forward with small bits of kindness and genuine interest!

Wow! What a first day! I'm eager to see what inspiration tomorrow brings!

Part of me really wants to get some riq practice in...but I'm so wiped out from a busy day that I'll probably read for a while before turning in. Not sure how far the sound of a riq would travel in a place like this and it's 2230 already. No need to wake the neighbors :)

Travel anxiety

Tomorrow, bright and early, I will board a plane for the first time in sixteen years. Long before 9/11 and TSA regulations.

Can I strap my riq bag to my backpack and carry that on? Will my carry on bag fit in the bin? Will they question the CPAP I plan to carry in the carry on? Will they think it's suspicious for me to be carrying a laptop, Droid, iPod Touch and iPod 160?

Can I get by with taking my environmentally friendly soap?

Did I mention I am going to Allied Team Training for Parkinson's? Did I also mention I will be learning from Concetta Tomaino? Legendary figure in music therapy with neurological disorders...and there is only one other music therapist signed up for the training...how amazing is this experience going to be?

Will my suitcase be too heavy? I will be gone for five nights...I've never packed for a flight where I will be gone for five nights. Will I be like my beloved, who a couple of months ago was detained for two hours because for some reason she kept setting off the explosive materials alarms? (She may be a bombshell with an explosive personality, but I assure you she never touches the stuff!)

I usually keep my anxiety in check about many things in life...this one is getting to me for some reason.

I will get to spend some good time with co-workers and getting to know them better...I'm looking forward to that part of it.

Everyone keeps telling me everything will be fine...as long as I can fit my stuff where it needs to go and I don't set off an airport lockdown, I should be fine.

Irrational fears, or sensible preparedness?

I am a warrior musician

So at work today I got to spend some delightful time unpacking an Arthur Hull set of drums...the big one...the one that provides instruments for 50 participants in a drum circle. My employer graciously indulged my vision of creating a rhythmaculture in our small Midwest town and purchased the drums. I had been keeping a 10 inch Remo ashiko and a 14 inch Remo djembe in my office on an unused part of the desk. I share the office with the massage therapist at the hospital who has become a dear friend. Actually we consider ourselves to be "work married." She is my work wife and I am her work husband. She has infinite patience with my lack of organization of the instruments and song books I have tucked into almost every available space in our cozy office.

I decided that I would like to take the ashiko and djembe back home to our music room (some people have a living room, we have a music room). After work today, I pulled my car up to the door closest to my office so I didn't have to haul the drums two blocks to the parking lot. As I walked out to my car, with my backpack filled with song books and instructional books, a harmonica, an ocarina and various everyday carry items with a bag holding my riq and the Remo Healing Drum kit strapped to it, carrying a large hand drum in each hand, I must have been quite a sight. A coworker, whom I recognize but do not "know" walked out behind me. She said, "You look like you're ready to do battle!"

"Always" I replied.

I explained that I was taking the drums home and preferred not to lug them all the way to the parking lot. She agreed with my choice, we exchanged a few pleasantries on went our separate ways.

Something about her initial comment really struck me. I was ready to do battle.

For a long time now, any time I would add a new instrument to my collection, I would tell people that I had added a new drum or penny whistle to my arsenal. Some people refer to a "bag of tricks" or other cute phrase, but for a long time I've used the word arsenal.

Someone pointed out that it brought to mind rather violent images, and I began to be a bit more subtle in using the word in reference to the tools of my trade.

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago in regards to how I deal with my ex-wife. I don't always agree with choices she makes for our children when they are with her. I keep trying to figure out how I can counteract the harmful things she does. I saw it as a conflict and took an adversarial position in the situation.

I remembered a lesson learned during a training session where our group of martial artists were learning how to disarm someone with a rifle. The instructor for the session is a hapkido practitioner, and kept talking about the concept of harmony (how musical!). At one point in the techniques we were learning, the instructor said, "At this point, you want and your opponent both want control of the weapon. You are trying to take it away, and you opponent wants it back...so you give it to him." The instructor then proceeded to show us from that position that we could use the stock end of the rifle to strike our opponent in the face, thus maintaining the harmony of the situation. The person holding the rifle wants to keep it, so we give it to them!

I applied this concept of harmony to my dealings with my ex-wife. I changed my mindset from an adversarial one to one of trying to maintain harmony.

All of this, coupled with that simple statement "You look like you're ready to do battle" brings me to the concept of the warrior musician.

I do battle every day as a music therapist. I battle against depression, anxiety, pain, grief, behavior challenges, brains damaged by strokes or Parkinson's, loneliness. I battle against people's self doubt. I battle against the idea that "I'm not musical."

So many martial arts have destructive and healing elements to them.

In the Indian martial art of Kalaripayattu, practitioners go through a series of weapons and empty hand combat training. After 20 years or so, they are allowed to study the healing aspect of the art and many become healers.

What of the Shaolin monks from China? Shaolin kung fu is legendary the world over. These monks are some of the most deadly people in the world, as well as the most peaceful. These warrior monks train for years in kung fu in order to seek harmony for themselves.

Anybody who has ever been touched by music therapy knows it is a healing profession; a healing art. I now embrace the other side of our profession. The side that seeks to find the harmony with the things affecting our clients and our patients. Harmony through strength of action and skill. Harmony that can only come from the determination to leave a situation better than you found it.

You may think it sounds rather abrupt or militaristic or violent, but I will continue to do battle. I will battle against the things that detract from the quality of life of my patients and coworkers.

I do this, because I am a warrior musician.

Got skills?

My Saturday was AWESOME! It started out with me attending a free guitar skills workshop at West Music. The workshop was aimed at promoting a recently released book and DVD entitled "Guitar Skills for Music Therapists and Music Educators" by Peter Meyer, Jessica De Villers and Erin Ebnet.

The workshop was designed for beginners and I questioned my wisdom of driving an hour and a half on a Saturday morning to be at the workshop which started at 1000. To be honest, one of my motives was to check out their product. You see, when I was an undergrad, I got the idea to write a book on guitar skills for music therapists. I noticed that my class mates were taking one semester of guitar class and then expected to pass a proficiency exam. This method left them woefully under-equipped to use guitar effectively in a clinical setting. There are too many intricacies that cannot possibly be taught in a semester long class.

So I wanted to see how these music therapists approached an idea that I have been mulling over for years.

The other motivation for me going comes from my martial arts background. I learned a valuable lesson from Grandmaster Rudy Timmerman about how he approaches learning. He says that he always carries a white belt in his workout bag (in most martial arts the white belt signifies a complete beginner). If he goes to another school to visit and learn, he puts on the white belt and stands in the back of the room (also an expression of beginning rank). This man is a well-respected martial artist with 60 years of experience. If this mindset works for him, it works for me! I started carrying a white belt in my bag too.

I went to that workshop, with almost 20 years of experience playing the guitar and the openness and enthusiasm of a beginner.

I was not disappointed.

The workshop, for me, highlighted some of the technical knowledge deficiencies I've had for years. It was a strange combination of feeling discouraged by what I don't know considering my years of experience and feeling excited to devour the material to correct some of those technical knowledge issues.

From a quick perusal of the book, which I did end up purchasing, I think I could safely say that I would recommend it to any beginning to intermediate guitar player. It does have parts that are geared toward music therapists, but music educators would not go wrong with this book. I will post a complete review when I've had some time to work with this excellent book.

My Saturday evening was amazing too. My beloveds and one of our daughters went to a belly dancing show a couple of hours away from where we live. My beloveds are taking a belly dancing class right now, and for me the appeal (besides the fact that it is belly dancing...I'm a guy, I mean, come on!) is the drumming involved. The show was the culmination of a day's worth of workshops hosted by a local winery. We shared a bottle of wine and enjoyed the baked potato bar dinner offered before the show started. There was also a presentation by a group learning pole dancing. Their part of the show was tasteful and highly athletic. I enjoyed all the performances spotlighting different styles of belly dancing and many beautiful women of all shapes and sizes. I say this because one of my beloveds has dealt with an eating disorder for years. It is important for her to hear that size doesn't matter as long as she is healthy. Some of the most attractive dancers at the show to me were not the most petite and lean ones.

Beauty is not measured by the size of one's dress, but from the radiance of their soul. You can quote me on that.

The last performances of the evening included two doumbek (Middle Eastern drum traditionally used to provide belly dancing accompaniment) players. I have been obsessed with learning doumbek for quite a while now but have not yet manifested an instrument or instructional materials. After the show, one of my beloveds asked the drummers if there was another drum that I could play and I think her say that I was a musician and could play anything . She went and picked up a spare doumbek and handed it to me. As the drummers and a couple of the dancers were jamming after the show, I tried to follow along. A few months back I bought a riq (Middle Eastern tambourine) and have been starting to learn the 50+ traditional rhythms that go along with riq and doumbek playing. During a pause, the drummer next to me asked what kinds of things I know. I told her this was the first time I had ever touched a doumbek (although come to think of it, I've played them at drum circles, though they were Turkish style as opposed to Egyptian style which is what I played after the show, and I never learned proper technique). She patiently and expertly taught me some basic techniques and rhythms. I explained I was learning riq but hadn't gained proficiency with the rhythms yet. She commented several times how quickly I was picking up on things (yay me!).

The lessons and jamming did not last long, but for me it was the best part of the evening.

A full day of music and inspiration that truly fed my soul.

What my fingernails taught me about my life's direction

Frequently my mind creates what my beloved refers to as "non-sequiter." This may be the only mention I make of this, or not, but I won't make a habit of prefacing when one of these seemingly random thoughts is coming up. When discussing with my loves the nature of our personalities, for the first time in my life I was referred to as "high maintenance." I thought that surely this was an exaggeration, so I decided to confirm this with my office mate and trusted adviser who happens to be the massage therapist at the hospital I work at.

She was working at the office computer and I was buffing my nails in a chair further behind the desk. I said, "If I ask you a question, will you give me an honest answer?" She replied, "Sure."

"Do you think I'm high maintenance?"

"Yes" she said evenly, with no hint of emotion in her voice.

With some mock indignation, and some authentic indignation, I again protested. We discussed it a bit and after hearing her reasons for the label, I conceded. I have learned if a majority of the important women in my life are all voicing similar opinions, the degree of validity is certainly high.

The reason I was buffing my nails, was not one of aesthetics, or vanity however. It was one of practicality and necessity. I am a classical guitarist, and use the nails of my right hand to play. They require regular filing and buffing to be in good shape for playing.

I had to laugh after the discussion I'd just had with my office mate. When she asked what I was laughing about, I said, "Note to self: don't ask someone if they think you're high maintenance when you're buffing your nails!"

We both got a good laugh out of that.

I would like to thank my fingernails for the moment of insight they provided just the other day.

I'm in what I consider to be, for the most part, a dream job. I've long wanted to provide music therapy services in a hospital, and I when I started this position little more than a year ago, my supervisor told me, "I don't know what a music therapist is supposed to do, so you do what you think you should do."

Bingo! I get to create my own program from the ground up! My vision can become my reality! Woo hoo!

But I still tell people that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up (I'm 36).

I have SO many interests! How do I figure out what I want to devote my time and energy to?

I was recently discussing my education and plans for it with my beloved. I am currently finishing a MAE in visual impairments (I used to work for the Iowa Braille School) and I'm trying to decide what my next step is. Temple University offers a PhD in music therapy, the only program in the country currently. Colorado State University offers a Master of Music focusing on neurologic music therapy, something I'm fascinated and passionate about...and most of the work is online, so I don't have to spend time away from my children. Then there's the EdD option at my local university.

I wondered though if a PhD would lend more weight to getting my research and my ideas noticed. My beloved explained that the PhD was more of a scholar's degree and the EdD was more of a practitioner's degree.

That fateful day when I was filing and buffing my nails I thought to myself, "This is an awesome length for performing, but I need a practitioner's length."

LIGHTBULB!

I'm a practitioner. I am a clinician and educator and researcher and a practitioner. I am not a scholar. I may engage in scholarly pursuits at times, but I am a practitioner.

My nails need to be of a length that they may not optimize the sound from the guitar strings, but they also do not get in the way of drumming a variety of instruments or interfere with other healing work.

I am a practitioner.

To give you the raw realizations as they occurred to me, I'm including excerpts from the email I sent to my beloved where I was processing this new insight:

I also had an insight about my fingernails that I broadened to my life as a whole... Thinking again about advanced education and the idea of the EdD being a practitioner's degree...I need to keep my fingernails at a practitioner's length, not a performer's length. No, I won't get quite the same sound out of the strings, but the nails will be a better length for more things, like hand and frame drumming. I have to decide what areas of music I want to be a performer and what areas I want to be a practitioner. I may be satisfied with not being a real performer in any areas...I was watching old Simon and Garfunkel videos this morning...Paul with the guitar singing and Art singing...that's it. Simple, clean and very nice. But I also thought about learning the Middle Eastern rhythms on riq and doumbek to accompany belly dancing...But really it's about the practical application of those things for me. Yes, it's fun to perform in church, but I see that more of a sharing of skills and talent for the benefit of the Society as opposed to a true performance. How can I use what I learn by learning the Middle Eastern rhythms in my work? How can I translate those skills to drum circle facilitation and healing and journeying? Some MTs are performers. On their websites they list private MT services and offer themselves as performers for weddings, funerals etc...that is not my calling. I think I am a researcher at heart because my intense curiosity and constant questioning but I am also very much a clinician...a practitioner.

All of this from the realization that I needed to shape my nails.

Greetings and Salutations!

I try to pay attention to things that keep presenting themselves in my life. When the same ideas keep coming up, I figure I'd better listen up. A couple of times now, my Twitter friend Kat Fulton has mentioned something to me about blogging. When I was feeling a lot of good energy at work and talking about leading an inspired life, she said that "Inspired Life" sounds like a great blog title! A few days ago, I mentioned that I was working on learning traditional Middle Eastern rhythms on my riq (Middle Eastern tambourine) from a book by Yousif Sheronick and Kat suggested that I blog a review of it.

So here I am in the blogosphere.

What can you expect from this blog? Without sounding too cliche´, expect the unexpected. I have many roles in life and many of them are so interconnected that it is hard to separate them. I am a board certified music therapist, more specifically a neurologic music therapist. I am a licensed music teacher and certified to teach students with visual impairments (yep, I read Braille!). I am a dad to three amazing children biologically and one amazing child by choice. I am a Reiki master. I am working to become a lay minister in our local Unitarian Universalist Society. I am a martial artist. I am a healer. I am empathic. As my Twitter profile says I am a lover AND a fighter. I think of the line from "The Most Interesting Man in the World" ads..."he's a lover, not a fighter...but he's also a fighter, so don't get any ideas!"

I suppose the complexity of my character will be revealed in time, but at least you have an idea of what you're in for.

Why the name "Hidden Rhythms?"

For the one contract that I have in my private music therapy practice, I was filling out a tax form several years ago and I came upon the line "DBA...Doing Business As." This was an opportunity for me to come up with a business name that would identify me to others, and reflect the nature of what I do.

I thought for a while on this subject and thought about what REALLY gets me excited about music therapy and teaching music. I thought back to an introduction several years ago I gave to a class of newbie guitar students. I told them "I believe everyone has music inside of them. Some people find theirs easier than others, but everyone has some musical gifts to share. That is why I'm here...to help you find some of your gifts."

This idea was reinforced for me after I took HealthRhythms training in 2003. I came back to the retirement community I was working as a MT at and started a weekly drum circle. So many of the residents were interested but reluctant. They thought they were incapable of playing a drum. They soon found the success and joy that anyone who's participated in a drum circle finds.

They found the rhythms hidden within.

So I defined my philosophy and practice by this term: Hidden Rhythms.

Helping people discover abilities they did not realize they had and to connect to their own musicality in a meaningful way. Using music to help heal and nurture...those are driving forces in my soul.

Welcome to the adventure!